We have a small business and this month, decided to have our employees randomly drug tested. It could be that I’m just paranoid and it could be that it’s rained here for 38 out of the last 40 days, but we were having just a lot of hissy fitting, stomping around, frayed tempers stuff that is just out of character for these guys.
So I wrote up an employee handbook (4 pages) and had them read it and sign it. I filed the acknowledgment page in with their tax forms and job apps. In the handbook, I spelled out the whole anti-drug policy, what kind of testing I was arranging for, where to test, how random the random testing would be, as well as mandatory testing after a Worker’s Comp or car accident. (I recently tore up my rotator cuff at work and had a drug and alcohol test when I went in for treatment. No big deal. The only thing I would test positive for would be red hot cheetos.Never dawned on me that I could hissy fit my way out of it. Josie handed me the cup and followed me into the bathroom…and somehow, it seemed somewhat normal to me. Weird, but normal.)
So today, I get all this hissy fitting, hammer throwing yelling going on. I got the tail end of it, since I was at work all day. Darling got the full 9 hours of it. They didn’t want to test. (Big red flag, ya think?). And no, they didn’t want to quit NOR would they accept being terminated. But drug testing…we’re picking on them. We can’t run their off time choice of relaxation. (Hello…it’s against the law.) Four of them refused to test; one, because we were picking on him. Two because they thought we were violating their rights. One because he didn’t feel like it today…maybe next week.
BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM said they hadn’t bothered to read the handbook. They just signed the acknowledgement form because they had to. Yeah, and they also had to fill out their W2’s so I could take out taxes because they had to. They do get all mad when I have to take out child support and sometimes want to holler at me over that…which is too bad, since I don’t like ANY of them well enough to go to jail. They also had to show me their social security cards because they had to…yet they want a do over with the drug policy. And somehow all of this interferance is MY FAULT. (Oh, on payday, everythign is hunky dory and can they borrow $150 so they can go to the races? I’m GREAT on payday.)
Don’t these guys get it? Retorical, since OF COURSE they do…and they just don’t want to be responsible for their actions.
Sure, they have a right to refuse to test. They have a right to get loaded 24/7, if that’s what they want to do.
And we have a right to let them go.
And if I hear “It’s not fair” one more time, I am going to scream.
The fair is in SEPTEMBER.
There’s a ferris wheel.