I’m not their teacher, I’m their keeper..like in a zoo


I’m constantly tossing guys who cross the line out of class. There’s all kinds of stuff they can’t do, and like defiant children, they try to do it anyway. This one guy (an LWOP with an enhancement) tried to tell me that I had hurt his feelings so much that he spent the afternoon crying in his cell.
Like I care.
Honestly.
Not only is he a grown man, he’s a violent murdering felon. I wonder how many people cry over his crimes?

Another fella just won’t stay in class–typical for Level 4’s–they want to get to the point where the teacher (me) doesn’t really know where the inmate exactly is. I don’t even allow them out of class without permission and a hall pass. So it is always a battle that they think one day I’ll just roll over on….but me? I’ll never roll.

(Dude. You are in prison. Someone has to know where you are every minute of the day. Right now, it is my turn.)

The old guys just do their time. It’s the younger ones that I have to battle with every day. Not the same guys; they rotate being ingnoranuses. (That’s when you are ignorant and an asshole.)

I did manage to get them to quit swearing; they all get that they cannot talk that way in front of me. And they will check each other, which helps. Of course, I had to throw them all out one day when my last nerve crawled out the door and curled up in the corner. THAT was effective.

Now all I have to work on are the born again Baptist/Catholic/Muslim/Buddhist/Yoga guys. It seems like they ALL have found God/Allah/Buddha/Yogi Bear and have to attend services during class time. I’m getting together with the spiritual leaders and trying to get them to start services after class is over. (1430 instead of 1400), since I can’t let them out of class for this stuff.

I was talking to one of the C/O’s on the phone about my Yoga class and how I take it before work…just to get my brain ironed out. (Inmates listen to EVERYTHING). Later, one of the inmates came up, wanting to talk about the meditation/yoga service in the afternoon..could he go? (No; get up in the flippin’ dark LIKE I DO and do it before school, you goof ball.).

They are as bad as telemarketers…once they get a second of your attention, they try to get you to see it their way. Doesn’t work real well on me. Try someone else. There are lots of goofy staffers…I’m just not one.

If anything sounds the least bit odd, I call someone and check. And when I tell the inmate to “Hold on a minute. Let me call the LT and check. He was in my third grade class…no no no..it is no imposition AT ALL”..depending on how adamant they are about me NOT calling, the more sure I am that I am getting played.

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