It’s the middle of the night, my head hurts, let’s talk about me

Just to get things straight-my frind Marji, over at tangled threads, is a good writer. She comes from an alien family, too but somehow they don’t sound so crazy as mine. I think that is because she is a good writer and doesn;t wake up in the middle of the night in hysterics with an exploding head. So if you want to read you some good writing, go there. If you want to read you some hysterics, stay here. I have plenty.

My sister, Judythebeautiful makes me crazy.
Not ordinary crazy.
Not even google a picture crazy.
Crazy in that family way crazy.
You know-mom- is -dying-I have-to-have-your-help-and-you-are-unavailable-and-pretending-to-be-concerned-but-not-really-maybe-you-are-over-reacting-have you tried-warm-milk?-maybe-you-need-to-call-the-elders-for-a-blessing- kind of way. (That is another whole story and why I carry a “I am a Catholic” card in my wallet.)

My mother has been in the hospital for a WEEK. She is in a convalescent home now, since Friday. Judy told me she was leaving on Friday to come and evaluate the situation and probably take Mom home to Utah to die. And as much as I hate to do that, it is probably for the best.

Judy is a nurse after all and I’m not.
Judy is the executor of the estate and I’m not.
Judy wants to buy a big new house and probably can get Mom to finance it.
Oh, Judy doesn’t work, has no retirement (she spent it) and is married to a felon (he didn’t do it. Twice. Twenty years. Don’t ask me what I think because I will tell you.)

I will tell you that I don’t like him, my kids don’t like him and my husband doesn’t like him. And in general, we don’t mind felons. We just don’t like liars, thieves and embezzlers. And we usually can spot them ten words into a conversation.

I, on the other hand, bought a house for Mom to live in and paid for it for eight years. She did pay $500 a month “rent” but that was all inclusive. She decided that was all she was going to pay and that was that. Reminder to myself to get all the money talk taken care of before I go off doing the right thing. Oh, I’ll do it, because it’s right. I just need to tattoo it on my ass.

So last night, right before I dropped my cell phone into a cup of hot coffee, Judy tells me she will be driving out to see Mom maybe sometime next weekend. Maybe. Or sometime THE WEEK AFTER THAT. Because she isn’t so sure that moving her is such a good idea.

I tell her that she needs to GET OUT HERE NOW because I am not the executor of the estate and while I can sign for a DNR (I’m good enough to put her down), I have signed for all of her financial and I need JUDY to now come tend to all of that. Oh, silly Chloe, you are mistaken! You are are on allllll the papers.

No. No I’m not.
That’s why you and Mom had all those top secret meetings at the bank and with the lawyer.
That’s why my name isn’t on any of the accounts.
That’s why I can’t go into her apartment to get her clothes.
By cutting me out because she thought I was too stupid to take care of all of these details, she left them in the hands of someone who lives a thousand miles away.

I’ve done this several times before and what happens is that I get stuck with the many thousands of dollars worth of bills AND then I get sued for theft, because I didn’t have the right to go into the house to get the clothes….and the family, who asked me to over the phone decides after the fact that I stole a bunch of stuff that didn’t exist. It goes on for years and costs me thousands of dollars.

So Mom, you were in your right mind when you decided this.
I didn’t think it was smart then and I sure don’t think it is smart now but it’s too late.
You are stuck with Judy and her Felon Boy husband and I’m pretty sure she’ll go along with whatever he has planned and then, as usual, not have a clue. She was clueless with Mark and she’s clueless now. And speaking from ten years with Jackson, sometimes you have to lie to yourself to live with yourself. But at least I knew I was doing it.

My bet is that FB, the embezzler will figure out a way to drain every dime Mom has ever had in her life and then leave the two of you penniless. He’ll leave the country on a business trip to Belieze and you two will never hear from him again. I give him, oh, eight months.

And what do I base this on?
I talked to Judy just last week about this house they were closing on, which is why she couldn’t come right away. Or were they still in negotiations? Since she had told me they were looking for a new house, that sounds like, well…LOOKING.

Evidently they already own it. Or at least “The Company” owns it. What company? She wasn’t real sure..but she thought it might be an LLC. (That is French for felons trying to screw the government and their families).

Oh, did you use the money the hospital gave you for YOUR house? That was smart. Did you get a good deal?
Oh, gosh, she wasn’t sure.FB used the house money to start up a business. They paid cash, though. (Oh, Please. Then why was Jeff behind on the mortgage payments?)

She and FB and Jeff had this company named,,,oh…New Freedom? something like that and it owned the house. Jeff wasn’t part of the company anymore, so they had to buy him out.And Jeff was downsizing and had gotten behind and so they might be moving in there, as tenants. You know, business is really complicated.
WTF?

A crooked business is complicated. A legitimate business–well, you work your ass off.

Mike and I own a company. I know the name of it.
We have a trust. I know the name of that too.
We aren’t the fucking tenants. We’re the owners.

God, my head hurts. The clinic doesn’t open until 8 and if I go to the ER, I would’t be able to get a shot until then anyway.

There is no END to the many way I can get screwed. If I thought I could hold my head under water in the hot tub long enough, I would. I’ve tried it and all it does is mess up my hair and make me look both pathetic and crazy.

Which isn’t far from the truth.

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7 thoughts on “It’s the middle of the night, my head hurts, let’s talk about me

  1. Oy Chloe, what a mess! We went through this with my dad. He died slowly of cancer and he wanted to be at home so…. of course his daughters, who all worked full time and had kids, would be the ones to nurse him as he ‘did not like strangers in his house.’ This went on for two long years. Now his two sons would drop in for a talk with dad now and then but ‘they could not stand to see him like that for long.” Well guess who got everything left to them-yup- the youngest son so that the property would not be separated. Now we know why he would insist on ‘talking to dad alone on private issues.’ Things like power of attorney and wills and bank accounts! Appears that the property was his mistress and his daughters meant nothing.
    However, and what I started to say before I got sidetracked. We made sure that he did not suffer. We had morphine, lots of morphine, from the doctor and WE decided when he needed it. Unlike his sister who died in pain in the hospital because they could not let her become a drug addict. Gee, how does that happen at 83 when you are terminal.
    And, my brother who inherited the lot- somehow he is not the happy chap he should be? Could it be because he has lost all close ties with his family.

  2. Hey Chloe….we went through crap like this with my father in law. He was a WWII vet…Normandy Invasion…wounded in France. When he got old something in his brain exploded and the the doofus at that first hospital made him keep drinking water for some stupid reason. He couldn’t swallow and it went to his lungs and caused congestion that almost killed him. That was just the beginning. THEN the VETERANS hospital wouldn’t take him because some dumbass nurse wrote on his chart that he was VIOLENT. He was..they had doped him up and he had a VIOLENT reaction to the meds. So the VA sees THAT on the chart and says NOOOOOOOOO, we can’t take your WWII hero here! Sorry!

    We finally had to put him in a nursing home which was actually a good one. He died there as did her mom.

    Some people just need a good ass kicking. Daily.

  3. My big sis tried to make me look guilty for not staying in Idaho and taking care of Mom (after I had done that for 8 years) after I finally graduated from college at 40 and promised my kids that we would move somewhere else where I hoped to find a good job.

    It is so sad that we can’t just honor our parents.

    I hope things work out for your Mom for what’s best for her. Take care!

  4. Get the help you need to clear your migraine.
    I have confidence that you can manage everything else because you know what you are doing.
    ((((((((((((chloe)))))))))))))

  5. Oh, Girl. You may just have to harden your heart and refer ALL questions to your mother’s lawyer and the person who has power of attorney. I know it’s hard, but it’s what your mother wanted. SHE PUT IT IN WRITING. If she doesn’t like it, she has the power to change it.

    For once in her life, MAKE HER LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF HER OWN DECISIONS. Please? For me?

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