Dehydration will do that to a person

Mom is totally confused today. Judy usually  lets her pick out a fresh nightgown every day and then changes her bedding to match. She couldn’t get Mom to respond in the least today.  Mom…who is usually so fussy about the way she looks couldn’t make the connection.

This dying stuff is hard. Before you write out your DNR and health stuff for the end of your life, make sure you say you want A LOT of drugs and if you can’t swallow, you want an IV WITH LOTS OF DRUGS.  Demerol, not morphine. I’m a big fan of Demerol. I wish I had invented it. Then I’d have a whole cartload of it anytime I wanted some. Which is often. Because it is a dandy drug. It is so dandy that I’m surprised anyone would even buy coke.

I have to say, after spending the last eight years taking care of my mother, Judy has the hardest part.  I at least HAD her to fuss and fight and argue with. Judy just has a patient who looks like her mother. When I took her to…where ever…at least we could talk about whatever.  She read the newspaper every day and watched the news so she always had an opinion on pretty much everything. We would chatter like magpies. Judy doesn’t even have that.

I’m not a nurse, so I don’t quite get how nurses can do what looks like horrible things to people…like holler in their ears to make them wake up; holler at them when they want more pain medication; holler in general. (Can you tell that I have had my share of nurses holler at me?)

And as many shots as I get (and they are doozies), I have yet to have a medical professional tell me “This is REALLY going to hurt.” My headache shots, which really sting are administered with the words “You’re going to feel a pinch.”  Of course, I lie and tell the gal that it didn;t hurt a bit.

The shots I get IN MY SKULL for my headaches? “You’re going to feel some pressure.” Yeah, like an entire melted CAR is being injected into my skull. The first time I had this done, I knew it was going to be something different when the doctor asked me if I could stay still or would I need my HEAD IN A VISE.  And it didn’t surprise me IN THE LEAST that he had a vise, right there.   And this is modern, cutting edge medicine.

Pinching and pressure?  Who teaches them how to say this like it is  A) the truth and B) a sensible thing to say?


3 thoughts on “Dehydration will do that to a person

  1. my mama is an oncology nurse in an acute care hospital, and her patients all die. she does a lot of wrestling confused old people. she’s a big fan of holding hands, looking in the eye, and telling the truth. she’s also a fan of drugs. my advanced health care directive is explicit on the drugs part.

  2. I’m very sorry for the heart ache you are going through.I’ve been there with both my parents.I am a private aide[20 yrs.] It is difficult,on the job,you get attached,but when it came to our parents, I chickened out and left most the care to my older sisters.So my hats off to you and your sis.and I will remember you and your mama,in my prayers. best wishes,Cheryl

  3. I would not waste a lot of sympathy on Judy. She has been more than happy to let you bear the brunt of “familiarity breeds contempt” for over 30 years and remain The Golden Child.

    She has earned this.

    Your mother has not earned Judy’s cooking, but Judy has earned this time. It is her turn. Don’t let your feelings about losing Inez spill over onto The Selfish One.

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