Again, up in the middle of the night

My brother Clark came over last night. I must be more of a mess than I thought, because Mike RARELY will talk to him…and he called him to come be with me. (And here I thought all of this uncontrolled weeping and sobbing was pretty normal).

We taught school together for ten years–right next door to each other and it was the Chloe and Clark show. I’d get dressed up every day (hair, nails, shoes…the works), mainly so we could go out to lunch together. Once we went into town to a popular little place and when his wife showed up, the waitress was going to shoo me out the back door. She didn’t realize that he was, well, he was my brother in every sense of the word. We had “adopted” each other and I’m Tia to his boys and he is Uncle Clark to my own children. IWhen they were little, we didn’t have family close by and we wanted to have an extended family for our kids so we just invented one.

It’s worked for 20 years and I imagine it will work for 50 more. I never have managed to get him to come into the prison for lunch, though. I guess it all that cavity search stuff. Not that he’s be where he’d need one–it’s just the idea that somewhere, somebody is gettin’ one and someone he’s lookin’ at has given one that gives him the creeps.

When I left the rural school, so did he–I ended up at the prison and he works for the county as a highly paid paper pusher. (I do my fair share of that). He rarely gets to actually TEACH, which is what we are both genius at. (I  still do, but NOT anything like real teaching, to real students.) He misses it more than I do.

So we sat out on the patio and I cried and he listened.

And sometimes that’s all you need.

Judy came over–she had gone to the gal who usually does my hair here in town and gotten a perm and a cut–which made her look about 20 years younger. She hates it. But really, it just gives her a lift. I’m going in tomorrow for hair and nails…isn’t it funny how important this stuff is? I just don’t want to let mom down by being a frump.

I’m wearing a grape dress with a jacket (tencel, which I can NOT say enough good things about) and my black witch boots and my huge red hat. Mom loved that red hat and borrowed it very chance she had.

Besides that, all I have left is to burn the music.

And miss her.


2 thoughts on “Again, up in the middle of the night

  1. Apart from the fact that losing your mother is achingly sad, these times with the others who knew her best can be good. Get what comfort you can from them, ((((((((Katie))))))).

  2. I carry my mother inside my head and hear her every single day. Not the flawed I was too sensitive and she wasn’t sensitive enough for me parts, but the advice, the comments, etc.

    She died 32 years ago, but she’s still with me.

    It does get better.

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