40 years and this is what I get (from August 2009)

Two inmates tried to kill me last week–I just saw it coming and except for the bruises and being scared after wards, it was business as usual. One of the captains scolded me because in his opinion I wasn’t in imminent danger and someone could get hurt, running over to answer my alarm. (Hey, I GOT HURT. DOESN’T THAT COUNT? Or is it over reacting if I don’t have pepper spray, an alarm, a baton and a radio?) They didn’t MEAN to try to kill me; they have poor impulse control.
I wrote them up and guess where they were on Monday? My class.

So on Wednesday, I went into Program and asked about KooKoo Wells who wants to yank my fingers off my hands (really) and get asked if I’ve written him up. Why yes, yes I have, And he give me the stone creeps because this IS WHAT HE DOES. They’ll get to it within the month.

Then three guys are planning on raping me, sodomizing, breaking my neck and dismembering me and hiding the body parts around the room and stashing my actual body in the mop room. I have a huge convex mirror outside of my class, so I can always see where the officer is. He has two “L” shaped hallways to patrol with maybe 150-200 imates. These guys figured they could rush me, do the deed or at the LEAST take me hostage and then kill me. My money is on being dead within the first very long five minutes…..and they they could chop me up and barbecue me.

However, my head had other plans. I wrote these guys up (I can do write ups in my sleep), turning them in and asked if someone could take me to the hospital. No ambulance. I just needed to get my head and my thudding heart under control.

The little town I work in has the most efficient little ER. The doctor though I might be having a stroke (I wasn’t) but I was having a really bad headache. Projectile vomiting -bad and highly unattractive. I just couldn’t get myself together and under control. They shot me up and kept me connected to the BP machine until my husband came to get me. Then they gave me another shot (“Honey, I’m sorry, this one will sting.”) except I never felt a thing.,

Next day (Thursday) I went into see my regular doctor, Jamie. He thinks maybe I am under too much stress—in that twice in seven days, people have either tried to kill me or planned to off me and if that’s not scary, what the heck is?

He sent me to my other doctor, Paul, who was beyond appalled. When exactly would these guys be brought up on charges? Oh, maybe next month, like July., Or never. Since I’m not an officer.

He went ballistic and took me off work for a month…maybe forever. He’s going to look into it since obviously, it is the squeaky wheel what gets the golden parachute.

I could go back if I could work half days in a non contact job., My felons have gotten too young and too violent and too testosteroni for me to deal with. I feel as if I have to tippy toe around them, when all I want to do is teach. And except for my few successes, evidently, I haven’t been doing much of that. They can’t even figure out a time line for murder, dismemberment and general mayhem. And what where they planning to with all the blood? And my head? Just drop it in the trashcan?
But even if their plan went bad, I would be raped and probably dead. Who knows which one first. I guess death first would be too much to ask for.

So I am at home now for about a month. No idea if I’ll ever go back. I have some ebay business to take care of, Some weeds to pull. I want to put fresh paper down in my cupboards. I might rent all 2,000 seasons of Friends or The Shield, I don’t know,yet,

What I do know is that I will disappear and there will be no party, no gold watch, not bouquet of flowers., It will be as if I never existed. Someone else will deal with the oh-so-important reports.

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One thought on “40 years and this is what I get (from August 2009)

  1. Not good, not good at all. How on earth can their punishments be left so long?! Thank God you are out of there for a while.

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