Tap, tap, tap “Is this thing on?” “Could I have a word with You there, God?”

Obviously you must trust me a lot, since you have just loaded me down with problems opportunities. And I know what they say (they being people who are not loaded down with opportunities)….”Oh, when God closes a door, He opens a window.”
Not exactly.
When He closes a door, it is usually the front door and I am left in the hallway of Hell, which is windowless.

Which is not to say that all is horrible terrible heart-rending difficult surprising to me. I just didn’t think that every single choice I had ever made—good, bad, indifferent, hideous or ill-thought—would all swoop down to my front door today.

1) The guys brought my player piano upstairs today and put it in the music room. It took them five hours and a come-along to get it onto the truck. They had to take the veranda railing apart and then wrestle it into the house, like some kind of gargantuan octopus. And it made marks on my floor. Which I cannot see but my husband can. It cost $250 to move, which isn’t much, considering how much pleasure I get from playing….even just the scales. Years ago, I paid $250 to have my old upright moved into my house that was built on a slab…no stairs, no verandas, no wrestling. So I think I got a great deal. My husband? Not so much. But there is a lot about me he doesn’t like.
2)My son is moving home. Probably forever. He is just not able to live on his own. And for me, it’s not a bad thing. We can walk the dogs together. He’ll go get milk at the bodega. He doesn’t mind me chattering away. He’s a great cook and pretty interesting. Doesn’t spill over into the entire house, the way I do. So all in all, I’m happier to have him home than to have him dead, which was my other choice.
3) My daughter is also moving home. She was RIF’d but it is entirely possible that the entity for whom she works will find her another job doing something else for about the same money. She is an entry level employee, so it doesn’t much matter what they have her doing. I’m hoping she gets into Records because you can actually promote all over the place from there. There are about fifty up-wardly mobile positions in that department AND you can take tests and either lateral or upwardly promote.

In education–well, once you are a teacher, that’s pretty well all you are going to be. And in this particular bunch of 45 or so institutions, educators are thought of as sort of flighty and….stupid. Stupid would be the word I’m searching for. It’s because we went to college and they didn’t. So big deal. For four years, I had enough money to fiddle around because college is not the realm of smart people. It’s the realm of people who can afford it. My daughter put her own self thru school (Okay, I paid for gas money), no loans but also no new shoes, trips to Cancun or a year in South Africa getting a degree that doesn’t enhance one’s employability in this market.
So I’m happy that she has a safe place to light for however long it takes for her to be moved to something else. She is hoping maybe the Parole Office because they have really cool badges and carry a gun. (It’s for to shoot pitbulls which, in my experience, are owned by an extraordinary bunch of felons. They aren’t ex-felons until they complete parole, which is really hard to do, ergo the pitbulls.) She thinks Records would be boring and I think not. Maybe I have a very high tolerance for boredom.

4)My husband continues to struggle with his health and it is getting on my personal last nerve.

He is not a good patient and is still too ill to do anything (can’t walk the dog or do the dishes or go to the market or drag the groceries up two flights of stairs) but boy! does he have opinions on everything. I was reading something today, which struck me as funny so silly me, I wanted to share it. He told me “I don’t want to read your book. I don’t care what your friends said and I don’t care about what you saw on your walk.” Okey dokey. That pretty well cuts out any kind of conversation we’re going to have until he DROPS DEAD.

Then later, I was working on a rental application (I don’t like the ones we had. Not enough information). I printed out a sample and gave it to him to look at because, after all, we are in business together. He told me he did not care what the heck I was doing. He’d been using the same applications for years and they worked just fine. (Well, except we don’t have contact numbers or phone numbers or why they left their former apartment or even references. But pardon me all to hell for trying to run a business like a business.

5) So if you are the least bit interested, God, could You cut me some slack?

6) Forget the “some” adjective. I want, if not ALL THE SLACK in the world, certainly at least what I would think would be a great big helping of slack before I go under.


6 thoughts on “Tap, tap, tap “Is this thing on?” “Could I have a word with You there, God?”

  1. after the accident, during the long road to some recovery, the long and hard months back at work and now the contractor problems that I now have a lawyer for and will be getting an inspector for, I doubt if God is testing my ability to handle challenges. And my beliefs and faith in God have changed some.
    As has my tolerance for stupid people, lazy people, self pitying people.
    I admire your strength and courage every day. Me, I would have booted that whiny, crybaby man down to the basement and given him a dog bed, water bowl and dropped off dog chow occasionally. You still treat him as human, and you still take care of him, no matter what crap he gives you.

  2. With a hubby feeling that way I would say he has to be depressed. That or not feeling well at all. Is he healing well and what does the doc say. I am sorry he “doesn’t give a damn.” I care what you have to say, think and do so keep posting. I only wish we lived in the same town but then again I am not leaving San Diego! *wink*

    Love you,

  3. Life is a bummer! You are so good to him and he is so negative to you. Poor guy is feeling miserable, of course, but he ought to see that, but for you, he would be feeling dead! Maggie’s idea about the basement and a dog bed – think about it…
    Sorry to hear about your daughter’s redundancy, but hope you can tell us about her new placement very soon. Thank goodness Ben has you and that you jog along so well with him. At least in your big place, there’ll be plenty of room for you all. Ben will probably prove very useful at times. Bless him.
    Hope you get some fun out of the piano. Play it and lose yourself for a while.
    Love you xx

  4. Since you’ve got the piano now, no problems. Just pound away and drown out all the whining. “Oh, did you need something? I couldn’t hear you, I was playing the piano.”

  5. Well, at least you are still trying. Are you at the hotel house now or still the other one> Wondering how you have room for the kids to return home. Good luck to your daughter for a job and hope son is happy being home again. Having trouble with posting this. . .

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