2011 was another rough year, and I am ready to let go of it. It was not the roughest year (that would have been 2001, 1990 and 1975) and there are always bright moments to celebrate.
*We moved into the “apartment” we restored on the top floor of the commercial building we own in historic downtown Hanford. It has been, since it was built, a whorehouse, a European-style hotel, a whorehouse, a regular hotel, a whorehouse, a boarding house, a whore house and now, our home. We’ve been working on it for almost 15 years. With that move, we sold our house with the big yard. I MISS the yard but not all the work it took. It was the case of getting a buyer about 3 years too soon, but with the market the way it is, I think it was a good financial move. But I still miss the big yard.
*Spending time with my own little family. When you are raising children, it seems as if they will never grow up. Then, magically they do. They are grown and flown and you miss them So, lucky for me, both of my adult children moved home. My daughter works full time and goes to school full time. My house is closer to work and school. The move probably saves her four hours a day in driving, but it is only for the math and chem semester. I have a MA in Math from UCLA and she thinks I might be able to help her. I love living with her. She has my passion for shoes, is funny and has a wicked sense of humor. She calls it like she sees it.
*My son has moved home also and he is just a treasure. He walks the dogs (Tank is too much for me to handle) and does most of the cooking and almost all of the shopping. He can save a fortune grocery shopping because my mother taught him….and she was a master at saving money at the market. He is funny and good company.
*My husband. No matter how tough things got, we always remembered that we were on the same team.
There are many shades of health and I think this year, we have experienced the highs and lows. He has had 9 surgeries and as I write, is recovery from his latest foray into the hospital. He is on house arrest until February. No stairs. No reaching. No bending. Rest, rest and more rest. I had my own little scare when my aneurysm had a little bleed. Not a stroke, just a little bleed that resolved itself in a few hours. Not painful, just scary. It’s the source of my headaches and just needs to be watched. Now how anyone is going to watch it is beyond me; it’s one of those no-control issues AND it’s inside my head.
2011 was great because:
*I got the help I needed when depression and anxiety took over. (This is a continuing issue in my life.)
*I linked up with many of my friends from high school. They are amazing.
Dreams that were realized
*I retired. I started subbing in 1971 and got my first contract to teach in 1973. Besides teaching, I also ran a 24/7 daycare center, wrote for Hallmark Cards, ran a coffee and catering shop. I raised two children on my own and completed two Master’s degrees. Raising the children was the hardest thing I ever did.
*I started working on both my beloved cross-stitch projects ( in the library) and knitting (in the sitting room where the TV is). I love making things and have put projects on the back burner for the last ten years. I had such a demanding job and such a long commute, I didn’t have anything left at the end of the day.
*AND we moved…only about three years before we planned to. So I’m living in a partial construction zone. I get bumped off the list when we have paying jobs which, even in this economy, we do. So, even if my projects get bumped down on the list, it’s a good bump-down and I’m grateful for it.
*I have a pattern of feeling left out that needs some attention.
*Keep myself joyful. Joy is contagious, like chicken pox.
Things I need to work on releasing
Comparing myself to anyone else.
All in all, 2011 has been a rough year. BUT NOT THE ROUGHEST. I learned a lot that has been of huge benefit but it has been painful.