Depress, depressed, depressing

I have a hard time between October and April. I was fine until today and now it just looks bleak. I don’t like anyone, especially myself.In an effort to make myself feel EVEN worse, I opened up the very special folder in my email, labeled “People who hate me”. As ugly as those messages were (oh, they were ugly and mean mainly, hurtful and horrible and made me wonder WHY I had thought those people were my friends, ever. Odd how people can turn on you, isn’t it? )

Sometimes I think that email is NOT the best medium for communication. I think that it should be limited to photos. Anything more, you should either test or just leave a message. “Running late. See you at 2.”

I hate my clothes and would cheerfully set them all on fire except lighting a match is just too much darn work.

I am so depressed that the insides of my bones hurt.

Oh, JUST FOR FUN, I went over to the suicide.org site. They are just full of things to say to seriously depressed people…for example “I know how you are feeling”. Ha! No you don’t. I don’t even know how I am feeling and I’m in the big middle of it. That site also confuses those of us who are deeply depressed but not suicidal only because that would take too much forethought.  I just need to be left alone for a little while and I will eventually crawl back into the world.

So in the best interests of everyone, I’m going to lie low and keep my mouth shut because even though I might mean it at the moment, I probably don’t mean it in the long run.

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3 thoughts on “Depress, depressed, depressing

  1. Sometimes the “world” gets to be too much. I always say I’m hibernating in the winter months and just let me be. Hope you’ll write on the blog – I’ve found it helpful at times. Hope to hear from you again soon!

  2. Hey, it’s me! I understand totally.
    The holidays sometimes depress me too.
    Sometimes family dynamics REALLY “suck” too!
    love you…….

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