I took the lessons for about five years and met probably more than my share of Elders “So, do you have any questions?” “How did both of your have the same name? Because “Elder” isn’t a regular name for a boy”) I went to BYU and really loved the experience. I lived and worked in Utah for about ten years. That said, I sometimes wish my mouth had a 5 second delay from my brain. Because sometimes stuff just pops out. Once upon a time, I was at my (Morman) brother in law’s house. I was pregnant and watching the kids while my sister in law went to the market for tomatoes. Knock, knock, knocking knock knock. It was the missionaries. And they can’t come into the house with a woman by herself. Even if I was pregnant and had three or four children under the age of five. The man-boys were in the backyard, smoking dope. (Yep. A bunch of grown-a** Morman men. Obviously they weren’t much into following the precepts of the faith. They were free thinkers, as in “I think I’m a fixin’ to smoke some dope.) So did I say that to these 19-year-olds? No. I told them the men were in the backyard, sacrificing an unblemished GOAT and I couldn’t interefer or it would spoil the entire…. And they were gone! Just like that! And I’m sure there are a pair of 50-year-olds who tell this story about knocking on a door in a really nice neighborhood… So I’m sort of sorry-not sorry because holy moly! What a great story!

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